Tuesday, December 11, 2012

First Post!

Me: Whatever shall my first post be??? Hmm... "I love books." ^_^
Mind: No shite, Sherlock.
Me: "....." Can I even swear on this thing?
Mind: It's your blog... and you'll find out if you can't when/if they delete your blog.
Me: Well aren't I just a bag of kittens...
Mind: Maybe we should go back on topic...
Me: Agreed.
Mind: You do realize you're talking to yourself...
Me: Doesn't everyone?
Mind: .....

My first time blogging! (shuts door on Mind's smart, overdone remarks attempting to cross the threshold) I love books and writing and dead-end jobs. I'm currently looking for work, in fact, after having left the nest *tear* for another temporary one until college. (hmm, speaking of which...) So far, the thought of cubicle work is... frightening. It sounds like an unattractive, grey cage. I don't entirely agree with what goes on in my country, though you can't be a fruit picker. We're all Frodo's. Ripe and Rotten Laws all fall to the floor from the sky scraper tree. We make do with what we have.

I had an epiphany today involving me living away from my immediate family and me being an adult. I spent a majority of my life shooting many short-term, awesome memories through 'Erani Lenses' and reading in my cave. I didn't go out much (still don't, but it's a working process... or is it 'progress'?). Have you ever tried scheduling with friends when your parents demand they be told DETAILS three days prior, and your friends are last-minute planners? Yeah, it isn't easy, buddy. I'm very picky when it comes to friends, I don't invite just anyone into my tower. It's not that I'm an indoors person, I just don't see the point in venturing out in the city. If 'going out' doesn't involve plains of grass and forests and oceans, I might as well stay in. With a book. And coffee. Mmm, coffee...

Seeing as that I'm a Capricorn (woo!) it's all or nothing with me [that's a whole 'nother post for a different day/night] and I tend to start something else without finishing it. But see, I'm not really moving on to another thing while leaving the previous one unfinished, I'm multitasking... I've got at least 30 years. That's all I gotta say.

In my first few years of being on this Earth [I have no idea why it appeals to me to sound like I'm not from this planet...] I was told that I was a happy, impatient, always-smiling little girl. Then my parents divorced when I was three, and I turned quiet. All this time, I assumed I was just an obedient little girl who remained seen but not heard. I certainly enjoyed being the teacher's pet and getting good grades. B's made me cry, but really, the tears came because it made me feel like I'd disappointed my mother by getting anything less than my best... She's my Ichiban, just under God, above everyone else, and I'll always feel like she deserves to get the best from me. My senior year in high school, I decided to cruise and enjoy. I did. I got one B. (no tears *smirks*)

I've always been prim and proper and conservative and quiet and rigid. I want to do the opposite, in hopes of knowing what I really want. I don't know if I'm naturally quiet and submissive, or if it's just me adjusting to my surroundings. This time in my second nest, until the summer, I plan and WILL find at least half of the real me. Wish me virtual luck. Or silent ones. Hell, even shouted ones will do. I'm not picky.

A hui hou 

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