Monday, July 8, 2013

(W)REC(K) A BOOK: When Fangirls Lie

Sapphire "Saffi" March used to be known as an eccentric genius, the girl who had made a laughingstock of her illustrious family. But she's reinvented herself since then. Now a post-graduate honor student, Saffi is determined to be a dutiful daughter, with no one in her world ever supposed to know she's also the most diehard fangirl of Sweden's #1 Sex God.

It's her greatest secret, and the times she watches the sex god sing and dance are the only times she could just breathe... and be herself.

Handsome like a classical statue but earthy and sexy like a pagan god, Staffan Aehrenthal is the most wildly successful rockstar that ever came on stage. He should be celebrating being on top of his world, but a woman's betrayal had Staffan forging a path to self-destruction instead.

Life no longer meant anything- until serendipity introduced him to a beautiful and funny girl with an adorably unique fascination with fishes. 

When their worlds collide on one fateful weekend, Saffi is disguised as a
gum-chewing hardcore groupie while Staffan pretends he hasn't been trailing after her all over
 the Internet. It's a recipe for the most hilarious and heartbreaking of disasters because 
when fangirls lie,the craziest things can happen-
like a rockstar falling in love.


Saffi's curses:

      • Suffering Sardines
      • Fluttering Flounder
      • Playful Piranhas
      • Galloping Groupers
      • Bamboozling Bass
      • Catapulting Catfish
      • Hallucinating Halibut
      • Murderous Mackerel
      • Desperate Dogfish
      • Ovulating Orangespine Unicorn Fish
      • Knitting Kingfish
      • Romantic Razorfish
      • Anorexic Arrowana
      • Back-Flipping Bangus
      • Chocolate-loving Cod
      • Drunk Duckbill
      • Epileptic Eel
      • Farting Frogfish
      • Goddamn Giant Sea Bass
      • Heartbroken Haddock
      • Voluptuous Velvet-Belly Shark
      • Moon-Walking Mudskipper
      • Twisting Tonguefish
      • Yoga-ing Yellow Fin Tuna

Crazy-Humiliating Things She's Done:
      • Pretended to be a G(roupie)
      • Pretended to be an experienced G(roupie)
          • Oh God, the lies that dug her deeper...
      • Had 'sex' onstage with Staffan during his concert
      • Almost gave the guard to Staffan's backstage concert a cock knob to see him
      • During a dance-off, she did Psy's Gangnam Style ('cause she can't dance)
      • Had sex in an office (after Staffan scared the poor owner out)
      • Made a video
      • Took a kick for a gay friend by his father, saying she's his secret girlfriend
      • Told the heart of a heavily-guarded rockstar that she loved him
      • Found out she was pregnant
      • Had sex in the DJ's booth at her award ceremony

It's not much of a review since I know it'll be a millennium before you ever read the non-YA books I tell you about. XD But when you do come to your better senses, read Marian Tee's books. They're delightful for a pervert like me (especially this book. Come on, the main character's a Sex God) and a romantic at heart, with all the cute and adorable stuff the nerdy Saffi does while pretending to be a groupie. She's eccentric, which won her brownie points.

Staffan's Swedish, which endured me further because I'm a fan of those kind of fellas. ^_- He also secretly calls her min himmel, or 'my heaven', and that is so fucking sweet. All of Marian's fellas do something horrible because they think they've been betrayed or think it'll work in their favor, but I gotta say, Staffan's was probably the most heart-breaking for me. He's the only guy that I've read about so far who actually had sex with another woman to get back at his girl.

Remember the bullet about Saffi saying she's her gay friend's secret girlfriend? Well he walked in on them together and assumed that she was fooling around behind his back just like his ex-girlfriend, the one who made him go all self-destructive. To get back at her, he had his bodyguard/assistant tell her that she could talk to him if she agreed to have sex with him and this other girl that was chosen for one of those contest things. Sadly, she didn't know he'd seen her with her friend, so when she goes in the room, thinking that he's just pushing her away for her own good, she painfully watches him play with another woman, breaking her heart.

They get back together, thank Fuck, but she found out she was pregnant during their separation, and I'm dreading the next book, When Fangirls Cry. In the next book's sneak peek, she sees a picture of her and her fiance walking out of a store with a pregnancy packet in the tabloids and runs back to her room only to find Staffan gone. See, she'd wanted a weekend with her celebrity crush to keep with her forever so that she could bear getting married to another, like the dutiful daughter that she was. She hadn't told Staffan about the fiance or the baby, though, so I'm like- terrified to see what's gonna happen. He just fought to get her back after he broke her heart! He can't just go back to feeling betrayed again... can he?

Uggghhhh, the horrors of waiting for authors. T_T

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