Tuesday, November 19, 2013

(W)REC(K) A BOOK: The Dragon King and I

Alexandria Greyson is cursed! How else can she explain why every man within sniffing distance comes running to her rescue? She's not even trying the least to look pretty but she attracts men like a magnet. When a man is killed while trying to bring her an umbrella, she realizes that her condition isn't going away on its own and she'll need to find a cure if she ever wants to live a normal life.

So when her "Fairy Godmother" sends her on a quest to cure the curse that's been plaguing her, Alex is doubtful but willing. Together with her beastly Prince Charming, she starts gathering all 6 ingredients that make up the cure. 

Everything was going smoothly... 


Until the last ingredient involves the heart of the one
person she has learned to love: 
A dragon's heart.
- Goodreads


This is a grand treasure with fantasy, fairytales upgraded and saucily dirtied, and... a...
DRAGON!!!!! <3 
*I like dragons :P*

dragon GIF photo: Dragon GIF Dragon.gif
Okay totally irrelevant to the review- but how can I not add this in? 

Alexandria is a modern American version of a fairytale princess: beautiful, rich and cursed. A man dies in the beginning while trying to retrieve her umbrella, but one night, something pounds and scratches at her door, whispering that he can smell her. She ignores the freak on the other side of the door, but when her poor neighbor tries to intervene and gets ripped apart because of it, she decides she's had enough with her curse killing people and let's her friend Rachel coax her into seeing a psychic. However, she arrives late to the appointment and is told by the assistant that because of that, she is considered an 'oath breaker'. The psychic she was supposed to see is a powerful witch, and when a meeting is not met between two magical beings, the contract involving the psychic's help is thus void.

Rude thing say what?

Alex is first dumbfounded at the talk of magic, and worse yet when Flo tells her that they aren't human. They. As in Alex isn't human, either. However, she tucks it away to think about later and tells her how desperate she is for help, and after a while, Flo gives her a name: Seraphim.

I was serious on the desperate part. Right after leaving the psychic's residence, she goes to the address given to her and is confused at the sight of the strip club, Hungry Kitty. It's pretty dead, and when she sits in one of the stripper's sections, she silently notes the way the woman reminds her of a fae before she asks for Seraphim, only to then be told that the woman doesn't like to talk to people. She goes around the club asking the other workers, and out of stress, accidentally gives a right hook to one of the waitresses. She gets body slammed a second later by a huge ass bouncer only to be saved by the stripper she first met. Cause, and I'm quoting the stripper, 'What are Fairy Godmothers for?'

Seraphim the Stripper (I love her XD) is her assigned FG, but believe me when I say that she's slightly psychotic. She accidentally burns Alex out of anger at her missing her appointment but quickly heals it right back up. Unlike the fairy godmothers we hear about in children's books, Seraphim, like other FGs, are witches charged to redeem themselves by taking up the fairy's work of helping out families. Now, the fairies were wiped out by the Black Widows, women who killed everything and anything because of their high on dark power. Some witches who take on the now deceased faries' charges take on the fairy's name so there's no confusion. So.... for example, when the real fairy Seraphim died, the new "Seraphim" took on her name. So who is this crazy witch? Maleficent. From Sleeping Beauty. X3 Imagine Alex's shock when she finds out that little info. And I mean, come on! Can you imagine Maleficent as a stripper working in Hungry Kitty?

maleficent GIF photo: awkward awkward.gif

Maleficent gives her a list of things to get in order to break the spell.

- A lock of fairy's hair
- An item bought from the goblin's market
- A mirror (preferably magic)
- A genie's tongue
-The final breath of an honest man
- A dragon's heart

"Absolutely not."
"It's the only way, pup."

Before Mal leaves her, she tells her that like a fairytale, she'll be receiving the rest of the characters before her journey can begin. You know, the knight in shining armor, Prince Charming, blah blah. Mal then disappears, as she's only able to stay in her world between Twixt and Twain (12 to 12), and Alex returns home. A knock on her door announces the first player, Sam, but he isn't what she's expecting, though their first moment is awwweeeeeeesoooomeely adorable ^_^. Like:

"Are you the knight?"
"In shining armor?"
My heart soared- "Yes."
"Hello, no." -only to crash and burn.

LOL


You can imagine what was going on in Sam's mind when she asked him, the dragon, if he were the knight in shining armor. XD Oh, the irony in that. <3 From here on then, their adventure to get all the ingredients is one novella in itself after the other. I won't go into all the adventures because then I'd never get to my homework (T_T) but "Prince Charming" does come along, only to turn out to be the major douchbag villain-!!!!!
*cough*

Another thing. During one of their adventures, she was brutally attacked in the Goblin's Market by mobs of creatures, so Sam stayed back to act as a distraction. Mal helps her find a way to get back to go and get him, and after seeing for herself that Sam had managed to destroy thousands of the market's inhabitants, she meets the dragon face-to-face, and gets her guy back. Alex eventually comes to realize that Sam was sent by Mal to act as the last ingredient, but he says that he'd been willing. He wants to die, because his brain tumor is weakening him, and with every moment that he grows weaker, a member of his tribe dies off trying to sustain him, their alpha. It's a horrible ending for them, but Alex won't deny a dying man's logical wish, so she instead tries to cherish the time she has left with him. However, a year has passed back in her world, and when she gets told this, one of her major worries is how her mother will react.

Now, her mother is a very... er, special woman. Married several times after each husband died, Danielle Woodrow comes off as cold and a cruel beauty who gets what she wants. She tries many times to get Alex to go to dinner and meet a nice doctor (yet another matchmaking trap) and just- well, in general, get her daughter to want a "better life" for her lonesome self. She's a Southern woman who detests Rachel, her black friend, and just has a sharp edge about her. This woman once told the police that her daughter had been kidnapped and sold to traffickers by a Hispanic, when in reality Alex had slept over a girlfriend's house and had just forgotten to tell her. If you're wondering, Rosalie never spoke to her again. When they need to get a genie, Sam takes her to someone he knows who could help. However, he takes her to her mother's home.

"What are you saying?"
"Danielle Woodrow is a Black Widow, and you need to convince her to help us." He grinned, the expression contagious despite the words that followed. "I'd do it, but I'd probably just end up eating her. And we really need the help."
We were screwed.

Needless to say, her mother helps her out because she's her daughter. However, when they go into the house, it's a complete mess from when she first remembered it; busy, filled with workers and light. The mansion's been unkempt, darkened, and filled with a tension that has the real Seraphim (you'll understand when you READ it) saying 'Go back, go back!' They come across vines in one section of the house, and then Alex sees a body hanging by them.

Rachel.

She's horrified at the sight of her friend, and only a twitch of her hand tells her that she's still alive. Now, a year's passed since Danielle spoke to her daughter over the phone, so imagine her rage and worry over her daughter when she couldn't find her. So, she takes it out on Rachel. Because of her, her baby is missing. Because of Rachel 'the oath breaker', who had promised her that she would get her daughter help via psychic, Alex now has to go through all this shit. This is what I'm assuming goes through her mind, but overall, crazy bitch just doesn't like oath breakers.

Rage at her mother fills Alex, but nothing compares to what she feels next when the music, music she knows is being played by her mother, is played louder and the vines holding up her friend starts to move, making her friend dance like a lifeless doll on strings.

scared GIF photo:  scared.gif

Okay, right there. Right there! The scene was so eerily painted and thought out that I got the shivers. It was so disturbing and frightening and- aaaahhhh!!! I might have this backwards, but it was because the author thought up such a horrifying scene that she raked in brownie points from me. LOVE IT! I mean, it sucks and I feel bad for poor Rachel, but still, that scene- *shivers*. Alex and Sam sit down with Danielle, and Alex notices that the vines are actually a part of her mother, and that she's using Rachel's blood to upkeep her youthful appearance. It disgusts Alex to no end, and yet during the entire conversation, her mother only wants the best for her. She gives her a spell when Alex needs it for the genie, though she has to promise to let her mother teach her the Black Widow ways. Danielle is a pretty crazy and dark-as-hell bitch, but at the same time, I love her because she's still a mother first to Alex. Don't get me wrong, though, I mean she tells her daughter, "Remember what we (I) do to oath-breakers, Alexandria," which is basically threatening her to keep her word about apprenticing under her, but even that doesn't bother me too much because Danielle personally doesn't like oath-breakers, and she accepts no exceptions for that, which I like (though it'd seriously suck for anyone who tried to be an exception).

In the end, Alex gets all of her ingredients. Yes, all of them. The genie they summon ends up killing Sam, but once she has all of the ingredients and gets drunk on power, Seraphim (the real one) comes up again and tells her to choose her new life, a life without the curse. However, Alex can't live without Sam, so she chooses him. She is in control of her curse, now that she's embraced it, and uses the genie to heal Sam another heart. They live happily ever after.

A few things I didn't mention: Alex refused to leave Rachel behind with her crazed mother, but Mal had shown up and transformed into her dragon form to duke it out with Danielle before snatching Rachel away. FYI- Rachel's under a sleeping spell. Oh, and Sam's second in command, Diedric, was supposed to come and kill Sam if too many of their people died off, but he never showed up. And finally, Mal's been getting cranky, saying she has other stuff to do and can't always come at Alex's beck and call. Soooo let's see who we have here:

Rachel (damsel under a sleeping spell)
Diedric (dragon)
Maleficent (no need for explanation)

Any of this ring a bell? It's another setup for a book (YAY!). OH! Another thing that the book tells you at the end is that Alex has a stepbrother who was cursed by Danielle to be a frog after witnessing her rip out and eat his father's heart. However, when her powers started to deplete, the curse withered down to him only being a frog at night. Now, this epilogue is about her stepbrother coming to Seraphim for help, but he'd done it when Alex had arrived at the strip club that first day. He's the frog!!!!! :D ..... but I suppose I shouldn't even bother mentioning it since you wouldn't understand unless you read it. T_T

Anywho, I loved this book a lot. It had a drago-

!!!!!!!!!!!DDRRAAGGOONN!!!!!!!!!!!!
scream GIF photo:  scream.gif

-*sigh* - and a lot of fairytales/fantasy stuff that I just love to gobble up. Alex was hilarious with a pretty good head on her shoulders, and I liked that she took everything very well. She even took the news about her mother fairly well. Basically, she didn't break down and cry and do nothing. Sam was totally adorable but still had that sexy bad boy edge because of the dragon he tries to control when in her world (apparently our world is full of evil that affects all the magical peeps...hmm). Of all the villains, Danielle is simple #1 though I am LOVING Maleficent and her role in all of this. XD All the characters developed quite nicely for me, and I was just thoroughly entertained by everything.

It was a great read! I recommend this to adults, but not to those who don't like sex (O.o no judgement here) or scary things that go bump in the night.

Happy Reading! :D

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the review on my book. I enjoyed it immensely :D

    ReplyDelete