Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Click (Heart Racers #5)

Helios Andreadis, the gorgeous, rich, and powerful President of the Afxisi, will do everything it takes to rescue the girl he loves. She has gone through so much pain, most of it caused by his own cruelty. The thought of her having to suffer again, and this time in the hands of a sadistic trafficker with a ruthless and gruesome fascination for violating human flesh--- He would never let that happen. He would do everything to get her back, even if it means doing the one thing she may never forgive him for.

MJ Cartwright has always done her best to lead a sunny, optimistic life - even when all the chips are down and she's literally black and blue from all the injuries she's gotten from her "father". But now, it feels impossible to even consider the mere existence of hope, with nowhere to run, no one to help her, and nothing to make her reality less true.

If all she can look forward to is being a sex slave to a monster, maybe... it's time to give up. She would never be able to go back to Helios after this anyway.

- Goodreads

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If you do not wish to be this little girl in the pouring rain, don't read it without being very prepared, as this is the darkest of her books in Marian Tee history, an author well-known for her mushy gonna-puke-it's-so-adorable couples and I'd-do-it-all-for-you love. MJ is kidnapped, medically touched down there, forced to do oral sex, and forced to willingly let her captor physically damage her, all in order to avoid being raped.
I don't mean to scare the sensitive off, but this book really affected me (and I like the dark stuff) so it's only fair to at least caution you before reading this book.

I knew this was dark- was even warned myself -but I wasn't expecting the intensity. MJ and Helios have got to be her biggest power couples because of what they went through to get back to one another. After MJ was taken, days had passed and Helios was getting nowhere with finding her. The fact that the first 72 hours are crucial to finding someone before they become nearly impossible to find doesn't help. He started with the man James loathed, MJ's real father, but only found out that it was a Greek named Vlahos, the father of Ioniko (The Art of Catching a Greek Billionaire series) and Katya, MJ's good friend. His step-mother and brother, Herod know nothing about it, though Herod does inform him of Manolito's masochist daughter, Gracie.

*You know what that means.*
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I WANTED TO DIE WHEN THIS CAME UP. Think about it! Helios needs to find her, and who else would know where that fucking sick psycho is if not his only cherished daughter? He can't just go up to her and ask about Daddy Soon-To-Be-Deadest, so what else can a handsome man like himself do to get a woman to talk?

Can he threaten to kill her?
No, she'd enjoy it too much and wouldn't talk. Then the dad would know if she ever went missing and- it'd just be too risky where MJ's concerned.


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Helios is desperate, willing to do anything to get MJ back without hesitation. Even if it means destroying himself, because that's what fucking this sick chick is going to do to him. He can't even think of another woman, and yet here he is, needing to catch Gracie's eye to get in on the inside (no pun intended). In order to even seem available after telling the world he's MJ's, however, he needs to look the part. So he fucks countless women-

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-to look like he's moved on, and he has to do it for weeks with the media right behind him before he can then take on the name Thanatos, a well-known sicko who enjoys killing with his sex, to enter Gracie's club and catch her eye. The real Thanatos is actually a woman you wouldn't suspect, but the Afxisi use all their power to find her so Helios can take on her identity, and she informs them about a ball Manolito does, a place only Gracie would be able to take him to undetected. The guys, Helios, Kellion, Yuri and Andreus all see how sick she is (but she doesn't touch kids, so that counts for something in my book) and although they stop Helios from outright killing her, Andreus cuts one of her fingers off. It's nothing new to him, another fact that shocks his brothers, and it's a thing they all plan to talk about when everything is done.

Meanwhile, while Helios is fucking and throwing up at how disgusting he feels in his heart and soul, MJ is on a medical slab, having her hymen reconstructed because Manolito likes deflowering virgins, he likes when it hurts and sees the world within his victim shatter in their eyes. Mother-fucking-sick-psycho-ass-

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The doctor hired by Manolito has been through this multiple times, but something in MJ's fighting expression causes him to tell his boss that she needs three months to recover if he wants it to be intact. Dude just bought Helios three months to find her before she dies from the inside out. If he hadn't done that, Helios would've been going to that ball with MJ either already raped and soulless or dead and unrested. So can we just have a 'thank you' to the good doctor?

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I wanted to cry for Helios and MJ, but the things Helios had to do hurt a little more, and I think it's because of how heartbroken MJ would've been to know what he had to go through for her. Helios would've lost it if he knew what she had to do to stay alive, but- idk. I think I just related to MJ more from the beginning, so even though this story had multiple POVs, it was Helios' that made me cry whenever he fucked someone.

And they did their share of self-sacrifice. Just as her sun god screwed to look good, she had to find ways to entertain Manolito. After she'd left the doctor, Manolito came in and just stuck his fucking fingers inside of herrrrrrr like he was her property, wanting to see if it was truly reattached before leaving her alone.

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That alone is so disgusting and violating!

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Although she was given three months, the days passed quickly. She didn't want to be raped or touched anymore than needed, so she distracted him with her knowledge of injuries, giving him- begging him -to hurt her in ways she secretly knew wouldn't be permanent but still look savaged. She even went down on him, and every time she succeeded in distracting him and winning his favor, James only grew in anger, until eventually, he showed her a tabloid featuring Helios and his most recent fuck...

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The sight kills something in MJ, but it's worse because Manolito hears and sees everything, and he beats her up until she blacks out. Switching over to James' POV, he gets found by Helios' men. After some persuasion-
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-he admits that they're somewhere in Vegas, and when he's forced to tell them that he showed MJ the newspapers of Helios, and that Manolito gives the women who displeases him to his men to feast on... they torture him. The same way he tortured MJ all those years ago. Every biker jumps over him, ripping his eyelids off, taking skin- until Helios takes his turn, and lands right on the bastard's skull.

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The most satisfying kill in the whole book.
Everyone else's was too fast.

Helios eventually gets invited to Manolito's ball as Gracie's date, and when he gets there, a plan is put in place with a time schedule that Helios must heed to. With Gracie, he meets Manolito; the sight of MJ nearly tears him apart, and MJ just wants to die when he sees her dressed like a bride and degraded. Helios can't do shit because his men are not ready yet, so he waits with a nearly drugged out Gracie. And then Manolito is leading MJ to the alter where the ceremony of the deflowering will begin. And he is lying down with her guided to be on top of him. With an extra giant of a man brought in to double team her.

The plan is mere seconds away but he can't take anymore, and the moment he kills Manolito, everything goes to shit. The sight of a dead body shocks MJ's second rapist into moving forward, and he unintentionally completes her violation. Helios kills the man and brings MJ into his arms, but it is too late. She cannot stop screaming. And she will never stop.

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A month's passed, and MJ is with her newly discovered half-sister, Katya. She feels blessed to have lost a horrible father and gained a real, loving family, but although she tries to act strong, she feels a part of herself die every day. She asks Katya to take her away from everyone (aka Helios) for good, and I totally burst into tears when he went to see her, and she cried about not being able to love him because she still feels dirty as he rapes her every night and owns her, even in death.

If Helios ever gave up after doing everything he just did to get her back, I don't know what I would've thought. Or done. Even the Afxisi are telling him to give up because it seems like MJ might never recover, but he goes to her again anyway, to- in his drunken state -prove that he still and will always love her. And how does he do that? He does a stunt right outside her window and... crashes. And MJ watches it all without feeling a thing. It isn't until he's taken into the hospital that she sinks within herself and realizes that she had just turned into James, making Helios earn her love the very same way he made her work for it. It breaks something inside of her, and she tells a concerned Katya:

"I don't understand what's happening to me, Kat. All I know is that for his sake, I have to stay away before he finds out that I'm happy... I'm happy when he's hurting."

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I thought I couldn't get any sadder... until this. How sad and real this all seemed. When one is hurt, they take on one of two roles: the predator and the prey. MJ taking on the tendencies of a predator enjoying someone else's pain made it all more real and I just wanted to-

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Helios hears it all, and the next day, he confronts her as she's leaving the hospital to go disappear somewhere with her siblings. He begs her, pleads with his soul for her to stay, but when she doesn't, he-

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He sees how dirty she feels, and he yells at her that if he needs to be raped so she will feel better about it, so that she can feel like they're on the same level, he'll do it. He'll get raped. He starts yelling out how much men she wants fucking him before he crumples in front of everyone and begs her to not go.

"And then it clicks"- oh WHATTHEFUCCCKKKKKAAAACCKKKUUUGHHHHHHH T_T I get that she was traumatized and it's super sad and it's even more FUCKED UP that she has to see him crumple like she did on the inside before she can take the chance. That's what really made me wanna just tear my heart out- that she needed to see him close to near death before taking the chance. Like-

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So it sucks that she needed to see him go real low but she finally realized that she was just really scared that everyone she loved would turn their backs on her for being dirty. She runs back to him and they hug each other for the longest time, and then it's a year later in the epilogue that we are invited to their wedding. It's a beautiful wedding in a chapel with countless people watching, and after they have beautiful sex, she has a dream of Helios beating up the personified version of her fear- dubbed Panic -and... well it's just hilarious XD Made me laugh and think almost all of it worth it.

When this book ended, I was completely drained. I'd cried at almost every turn, but it wasn't tears from my eyes. My heart cried every time they had to sacrifice a piece of themselves to survive, a piece for a piece and a future with their loved one. Sacrifices of the heart are bad enough, but having to deal with some of the darkest things this world has to offer-

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Helios and MJ were so brave. Either of them could've just broken down and cried, but they fought. This couple fought with their love driving them to live, even when either felt like they would be too dirty in the end. It was definitely an ultimate love, a novel to show just how intense Marian Tee creates all her loves, that even as every couple's situation is different, their love for the other is still as dedicated, aggressive and passionate. Nothing can kill it.

Click left me numb in the heart, but it was also a very great story to read. Definitely unforgettable. I love the dark shit so it didn't exactly scar me, but it did make me sad that two beautiful, pure people had to go through something so degrading and soul-staining. The whole thing was brilliant in its action-packed thriller romance. There were multiple POVs and it flowed nicely with the plot of the story.

I pretty much did this while reading:
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The only thing I can think to criticize is that Yuri's younger sister was Hallie in Swish and Burn, but is referred to as Hailey in this one. I'd add in MJ's reluctance to go back to the man who gave up everything for her, but it's more of a thing you'd have to understand- I wouldn't want to have my love take me back because of how dirty I felt, but at the same time, I'd be scared to go to him and be turned away because of what happened. That's a fear to be understood, so it's not something to be judged. Otherwise, I cried, cried, died, was brought back by their love to cry again loved everything :)

I recommend this amazing love series and the author herself, I love all the love she writes about and how she's not afraid to add the flavors. Recommend- Recommend- Recommend. :)

Oh, and-

Manolito Chavez. Remember that name when you want to bless the world with some goodness and you need to volunteer someone to play Satan's bitch sacrificial lamb.
*Please refer to evil Manolito's, not any unfortunate
ones who share his name*

Oh, and Manolito?

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I'll be thinking of you :)

*Well if that isn't the fucking creepiest thing I ever saw-*

I feel like I just spoiled the whole goddamn thing of Click, but what the hell.
It's how I do my spoiled reviews. :P

Happy Reading =^~^=

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